No Closing for an endless LOVE...

I'm pretending to not care to try and retain my sanity and freedom too.
But reality is at this point the silence is death defying
I'd rather go insane for you.

Just to have you in my life, to know that the essence of our thoughts are connected on some level would balance this scale of confusion.
The rejection I've had to endure from the lack of your being here
has put me in total and irreversible delusion

I'd take the timed medication and sleep in a padded room with no shoestrings in my shoes.
Just to know during visiting hours I'd be graced with the presence of you

The emotional draw I feel is so magnetic, so powerful, so robust,
Enticing, and overwhelming, God grant me the days when life was just US!
The NEW days, and beginning nervous sweats
The first kisses and endless sex

The moments after when lying on your chest
And deep rooted conversations which helped me learn you best.

The "Love is" situational responses and
pauses throughout the day
To just wonder...and ponder...and have intimacy replayed

I promise Lord to protect your angels heart.
I promise to Love you first, then love him so we never grow apart.

Oh baby Your smile, your laugh, your scent
The memories are to intense to bare
Tell me, what do I need to do oh Lord to have him here.

Next to me!!!

You put him in my life, don't take him away,
what needs to be done? what do I need to say?

Guide me, this roller coaster of emotions has become sickening
This silence I've enforce is mentally reckoning.

I have no closing for this can't be the end
I have no closing til I receive that text...Love is....huh?!?! Or be it just a Friend!

Random Rants

OK, I just had the urge to write and filter my thoughts, I've depressed myself with trying not to call or text HIM.

Maybe it's just me, maybe I'm the only person in the world who doesn't have a representative in the initial encounter of new beginnings.

What you see is what you get!

I am VERY thoughtful, sometimes too thoughtful if you ask me.

BE WHO YOU ARE!

Don't try to be thoughtful, because I'm thoughtful, cause when you stop being thoughtful (because its unnatural for you), I have to adjust to NOT receiving this attention.

See maybe I love all of you because I just do.

Maybe its not any particular thing that you did, maybe just your scent is enough to make me love you a lifetime.

Maybe I've realized the imperfections of people, yet I am willing to love you in spite of.

Why do I have to limit the intensity of my love to try and fit your timed expectations.

I am who I am!

See I disagree that Love has to be paced!

YES people change!

But every "REAL" relationship that I've ever been in, that Lasted might I add.... I knew I loved that person within the first week. I KNEW IT!

IN MY HEART.... I KNEW IT!

I am who I am!

Maybe I'm so in tuned with my emotions, that I can filter through whats good for me, and WHO'S NOT!

I am who I am!

Love me for this caring, affectionate, giving, communicative, high energetic, comedic, sexy, over the top being that GOD has made me to be.

Cause I can only be ME....ALL THE TIME!

Just Random thoughts!